Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we're making bets on your personal life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize