Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I don't deserve a penis
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
