do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
