I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Randomize
