Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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