i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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