but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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