ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I got her a Nickelback box set.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize