Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
