You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize