Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
