sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
