I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
