My hand turned me down
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
