his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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