He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
