It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
