I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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