You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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