Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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