Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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