we have pet lesbian snakes
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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