grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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