did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
