HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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