I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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