i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
