absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
