I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize