You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
