Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
