it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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