If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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