I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you will always have a special place in my vag
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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