He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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