Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
