On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
