I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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