I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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