Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
