If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We got so high we made milksteak
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
