i think my mom watched the whole time
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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