he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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