i just wanna soil my oats bro
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
