Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
