Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
