Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
