so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize