And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
