Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Please don't give away my fajitas
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