K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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