You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
