5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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