i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
