MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
