They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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