will power is for people who don't want to get laid
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
