He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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