I want to walk on stilts...naked
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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